First Draft of Angus Jones’s Apology to Two and a Half Men
Angus Jones got himself into a publicity nightmare when a video featuring the young actor denouncing Two and a Half Men was published by Forerunner777, a Christian YouTube channel, on November 26th. The video, called “Angus Jones’s Testimony,” already has over 2 million views on YouTube. In the video, Angus describes Two and a Half Men, the show he grew up on, as “filth”, urging views to stop watching. “If you watch ‘Two and a Half Men,’ please stop watching ‘Two and a Half Men.’ I’m on ‘Two and a Half Men’ and I don’t want to be on it,” he says, “Please stop filling your head with filth, please.”
However, after Angus Jones was hit with a media sh-t storm he issued this apology: “Without qualification, I am grateful to and have the highest regard and respect for all of the wonderful people on ‘Two and Half Men’ with whom I have worked and over the past 10 years who have become an extension of my family. … I apologize if my remarks reflect me showing indifference to and disrespect of my colleagues and a lack of appreciation of the extraordinary opportunity of which I have been blessed. I never intended that.”
This story is spreading like wild fire, but what most people haven’t seen yet is the first draft of Angus’s apology. (Warning: The following quote is completely fictional.)
Angus Jones’s Apology, First Draft:
“Hey sinners, it’s me, Angus. I’ve been in the news a lot lately because of some little comments I made about Two and a Half Men, or as I like to call it, The Embodiment of All Seven Deadly Sins in One Perverse Television Broadcast. Yeah, so my publicist called me this morning and I was like, ‘Whoops.’ Now I guess I have to apologize. So, sorry that you’re all so ignorant to the immoral smut that the media disperses that you gobble it up like Spicy Hot Cheetos. Whatever. Have fun burning in eternal Hellfire.”
Angus’s publicist edited it a bit and by draft seven they were ready to go public.
