Things I Would Rather Do Than Watch Jersey Shore Season 6
On October 5th, MTV premiered season 6 of its highly popular reality show The Jersey Shore. The show became a pop culture sensation when it premiered in December of 2009. Jersey Shore and its stars have been parodied endlessly on YouTube, Saturday Night Live, etc. and have become the butt to many a joke (for instance, “No, I don’t want to go get belligerently drunk and then get my hair pulled out in a bar fight with you. This isn’t The Jersey Shore.”) The show has also been heavily criticized for perpetuating stereotypes harmful to the Italian community.
Personally, I cannot stand The Jersey Shore and that style of reality television. I find the constant superficiality and immaturity of the cast very unappealing. And then the show afterward where a host talks to the cast about the events of the episode? They ask ridiculously serious questions about the show like it has any relevance in the real world: “So what happens when the laundromat is closed? Do you just GT? Or is that some type of sacrilege?” I just want to yell at the TV, “You got plastered and punched a guy in the throat, this isn’t the Presidential Debate.” Anyways, my doctor says it makes my ulcer worse when I watch The Jersey Shore so here’s a list of some activities I would rather do instead.
Things I Would Rather Do Than Watch Season 6 of The Jersey Shore:
• Hold 6 live flies in my mouth for an hour.
• Help the K-9 unit sniff out Jimmy Hoffa’s body.
• Learn Klingon.
• Give myself stitches.
• Catch nine stray dogs and create my own dog sled team using a skateboard and a length of twine.
• Get belligerently drunk and punch a guy in the throat.
• Creep all my old high school teachers on Facebook and like all of their profile pictures.
• Buy a piglet, raise it to adulthood, name it Carl, become overly attached to it, and then have to slaughter it for bacon. That’s how life works on the farm.
• Hang out in a seedy gas station restroom for a few hours and just see what kind of folks I meet.
